WCE004 Unfunny Fritz goes online dating

Episode 4 – Online Dating and New Year’s Resolutions

In his original material Unfunny Fritz talks about how he met his wife through online dating and is now sad that she didn’t turn out to be a nerdy male internet troll.
[spp-tweet tweet=”not the getting fucked in the ass part”]

The celebrate the end of 2016 and the beginning of 2017, the jokes in this episode are about New Years Resolutions:
This woman walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo of a christmas tree on her right inner thigh and a cocktail drink on her left inner thigh. The tatoo artist say thats an unusual request. “Why do you want two tattoos there?” So she says “Because my husband needs to eat between christmas and new years.”
My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions.

If your born in September, its pretty safe to assume your parents started out the New Year with a Bang!

Dear God, my prayer for 2017 is a FAT bank account and a THIN body. Please don’t mix it up like you did this year.
New Years Resolutions You Can Actually Keep
  • Read less.
  • I want to gain weight. Put on at least 30 pounds.
  • I will start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store.
  • Stop exercising. Waste of time.
  • Watch more TV. I’ve been missing some good stuff.
  • Watch less TV in standard definition.
  • Gain enough weight to get on The Biggest Loser.
  • Watch more movie remakes.
  • I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.
  • I will become a vegan for a day and subsequently learn that it was a missed steak.
  • I will no longer waste my time reliving the past, instead I will spend it worrying about the future.
  • Stop buying worthless junk on Ebay, because QVC has better specials.
  • Spend more time at work.
  • Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.
  • Take up a new habit: maybe smoking!

The source for all jokes was Jokes4Us

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