WCE005 Unfunny Fritz learns no Chinese and calls his mother in law a horse

Episode 5 – Chinese language and Mother-in-Law

In his original material Unfunny Fritz talks about why he isn’t speaking any Chinese anymore and the negative impact his little knowledge of the Chinese language had on his mother-in-law.

The jokes in this episode match the topic of the original material, jokes about mother-in-laws and jokes about horses.

Jokes about mother-in-law:
The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work, “I have great news for you. Pretty soon, we’re going to be three in this house instead of two.” Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes. He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, “I’m glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us.”

A man is driving with his wife at his side and his mother-in-law in the backseat. The women just won’t leave him alone. His mother-in-law says, “You’re driving too fast!” His wife says, “Stay more to the left.” After ten mixed orders, the man turns to his wife and asks, “Who’s driving this car – you or your mother?”

Someone going to work sees a crowd of people walking. Looking at the beginning of course, he sees a coffin behind a gentleman with a little dog followed by the crowd. Approaching the owner and he asks him: “What happened here, man?” “Pff, my mother-in-law died,” he said. “Hush how sad eh… And, if allowed, how?” “My dog bit her…” “You don’t tell me! Could you lend him to me just for tonight?” “Get in line!”

A presser in a tailor shop arrived one morning wearing a good sized diamond ring. One of the tailors noticed the sparkler and asked about it. “My mother-in-law gave me a thousand dollars before she passed away. She said that when she dies, I should buy a beautiful stone. So I did!

So David Is finally engaged, and is excited to show off his new bride. “Ma”, he said to his Mother, “I’m going to bring home three girls and I want you to guess which one is my fiance.” Sure enough twenty minutes later, David walks in the door with three girls following behind him. “It’s that one”, said his mother, without blinking an eye. “Holy cow”, exclaimed David, “how in the world did you know it was her?” “I just don’t like her”, she replied.

Office executive “Sir, can I have a day off next week to visit my mother-in-law?” Boss “Certainly not!” Office executive “Thank you so much sir! I knew you would be understanding.”

I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “Mother-in-law” you get the words “Woman Hitler”.

All these jokes were copied from http://unijokes.com/mother-in-law-jokes/

 

Jokes about horses:

Q: Why did the horse cross the road? A: Because somebody shouted hay!

Q: Why do horses like to fart when they buck? A: Because they can’t achieve full horse power without gas.

Q: Why are most horses in shape? A: Because they are on a stable diet.

Q: What do you ask a sad horse? A: “Why the long face?”

Q: Why did the Anorexic blonde start eating hay? A: The doctor told her she needed to eat like a horse.

A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a horse sitting next to him. “Are you a horse?” asked the man, surprised. “Yes.” “What are you doing at the movies?” The horse replied, “Well, I liked the book.”

One day, a boy and his best friend were telling jokes to one another. They were having fun. These boys were some of the nicest kids and would never say a dirty joke. One of the boys says “Hey you want to hear this dirty joke. I heard it from my brother” The other boy was curious so he agreed and said yes. “Ok then. A horse fell into a mud puddle”

All these jokes were copied from http://www.jokes4us.com/animaljokes/horsejokes.html

This episode was sponsored (again) by Panda & Penguin Production. Please check out their website at http://www.panda-penguin-production.com.

Panda & Penguin Production

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